I Don't Want Your Email Address Unless We're Friends


Geek Station by Flickr user striatic
"Geek Station" by Flickr user striatic

This was sort of odd. I met someone recently, and he gave me his card.  I later sat down to start entering the info in my contact files.


Usually, in such a situation, I would shoot them an email about how nice it was to meet them, etc.

As I was processing the info, I realized that I didn’t want to do that so much. I would much rather friend them on Facebook and add them to my social network. This would allow me to keep in touch with them much better.

Just having their email address would not insure any connection, unless I chose to put it on my “to do” list. On the other hand, plugging them into my social network created not only a connection but also insured that there would be ongoing interactions, without increased friction.

So I sent them a friend request.

But I wondered: Have I just reached a tipping point with email? Did something else just eclipse it?

It’s one thing to write and theorize about this stuff, but I put much more stock in my actual behavior. I try to observe what I do on the natural. When I actually change how I approach things, without thinking it through ahead of time — well, then there may be some real change afoot. Because, much as I like to talk about all this new shiny tech stuff, in the end I am quite slow to change my default behaviors.

I think my default behavior may have just changed.


2 thoughts on “I Don't Want Your Email Address Unless We're Friends”

  1. I feel exactly the opposite. For me, there would be no point to Facebook if it weren’t a place to share my private life with my actual friends. There really isn’t an equivalent site for colleagues. I have business-oriented relationships on Twitter, but if we need to discuss something in detail, we use e-mail.

  2. Awesome . . . different strokes!

    LinkedIn might be a good “colleague” place for you.

    But also, my point is that I want to reserve email for a certain kind of interaction. My default connection method, for MOST situations, is a social network approach. That means I avoid direct messages )in Twitter and Facebook, including email) when a public interaction would be just as useful. The private (email, direct message) is for specific communications that are only between us and NEED to be only between us.

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