One Year of Letters to God

This morning, early before anyone else was awake, I did something that has become a habit over the past year. After letting the dogs out, and then back in, and giving them food along with the cat, I walked down to a small sofa I have in my basement.

2016-01-01 10.59.24-1
My sofa

I sat down and once again did a set spiritual practice, as I reported back in May.

Every morning I read spiritual literature, pray a set prayer, and meditate. I end by writing a letter to God in a little journal I have.

There’s nothing special about the letter. I could just as easily call it a “journal entry,” or I could say I “write in my diary.” The approach I use, that works for me, is a letter to a higher power.

I don’t have a specific format for the letter. It changes from time to time, depending on what is on my mind. Sometimes I have shortcomings or transgressions from the day before to confess and address. Sometimes I have anxieties about what is to come, or the well being of a family member. Sometimes I am angry or hurt, and I need to express it. Sometimes I am ecstatically grateful for the gifts that have been showered on me.

No matter. It all goes in the letter. I typically close my missive by writing this: “God, grant me knowledge of your will for me, and the willingness and power to carry it out.”

What the letter contains is unimportant. What matters is that I have written it. I only allow myself to write once I have done the other things (reading, prayer, meditation). In that way, the written letter becomes tangible proof that I have engaged in the practice I intend.

Like many people, I am easily distracted. I make resolutions, or “set intentions,” only to abandon them when something more interesting comes along. With spiritual practices this has been the pattern. I tell myself I will meditate more, or pray more. And I do for a week or so . . . then one day I’m in a hurry, or oversleep a bit. And, poof, it’s gone. The resolve evaporates like fog under the sunlight.

One year of letters
One year of letters

The letter has worked for me where willpower and intention has not. I think about why, and it is a silly thing. I have become superstitious about the letter.

Some time ago I began to write down the consecutive number of each entry. Each day it goes up by one. I have got it in my head that if I miss a day, something dreadful will happen.

Intellectually, I know that’s not true but I don’t let that stop me. I revel in this superstition, because it has given me resolve where all my good intentions have failed.

This morning, I wrote my 365th consecutive entry. One full year.

What can I say has been the result? I don’t have anything specific to point to. I have had the usual ups and downs throughout the year, and I have responded in the ways we all seem to — never as well as I might hope, but I do the best I can.

The best, most helpful news I can give is that praying and meditating every morning for a year has allowed this practice to become part of my identity. I am someone who prays and meditates. Do I do it well? No. But I do it.

If I can do one year, I can do another. Maybe I will look back on decades of this practice in my final days.

Published by

Brad Rourke

Executive editor of issue guides and program officer at the Kettering Foundation.

One thought on “One Year of Letters to God”

  1. I always like to learn about other people’s spiritual practices. I have a question about yours: Is your “set prayer” the same one every day, or is it “set” because you’re doing something like using a book that gives you a new prayer each day (rather than choosing something randomly.)

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